Homework - yay or nay?
I often struggle with how to end sessions with my clients, particularly following a difficult or distressing session. More than once it has happened where a flood of emotion is experienced just as our time is about to come to an end; most recently one of my clients came to the realization that her experiences growing up with an alcoholic father and overbearing mother were affecting her own relationships with men. She sat quietly for 45 minutes, answering my questions and relating painful memories, but it was only as we were wrapping up our hour that she became tearful, relating how she had never before put the puzzle pieces together in quite the way that we just had. We discussed how we could work through some of these issues more fully in future sessions and my client was very amenable to this, but I couldn't help but feel guilty for leaving her with this "unfinished" business.
I have noticed that I feel this way at the end of many sessions, and end up feeling obligated to provide "homework" or some other "until-next-time" exercise my clients can utilize to avoid feeling as though I'm leaving them high and dry. I believe this has more to do with my own anxieties than my clients', and I have tried to make a more concerted effort to simply allow them to be with their feelings at the end of a session rather than to feel as though I need to make it "better" before sending them on their way.
I'm interested in your thoughts on this. How do you normally end sessions with your clients? Do you make it a part of your regular practice to provide 'homework' or other activities to keep them engaged in the process until the next time you meet?
I have noticed that I feel this way at the end of many sessions, and end up feeling obligated to provide "homework" or some other "until-next-time" exercise my clients can utilize to avoid feeling as though I'm leaving them high and dry. I believe this has more to do with my own anxieties than my clients', and I have tried to make a more concerted effort to simply allow them to be with their feelings at the end of a session rather than to feel as though I need to make it "better" before sending them on their way.
I'm interested in your thoughts on this. How do you normally end sessions with your clients? Do you make it a part of your regular practice to provide 'homework' or other activities to keep them engaged in the process until the next time you meet?
I just realised this blog is like one huge Assignment 2! You could have started it last year :oP
ReplyDeleteJoking - I feel the same about ending sessions - (I really wish I'd put that in my hugely over-worded paper!) and the "doorknob moment", as they refer to it in In Treatment, is a really difficult one to deal with. I've been practising person-centred therapy so I don't leave homework or exercises. I pretty much say "that seems really important to you, perhaps we can look at it next week". If it comes up the following week, I might explore why my client didn't bring it up until the end of the session...I don't know what to do if my client hasn't brought it up the following week because that hasn't happened yet.
I'm sure there are problems with what I do, but I'm still learning! My therapist doesn't leave me homework, I guess I'm left with the feeling until the following week, which has mostly been ok for me - it gives me a week to really reflect on it myself before sharing it with her fully.
I'm interested in what sorts of exercises you leave your clients.
Sometimes I will photocopy "assignments" out of self-help workbooks that I've ordered. Some of them have to do with developing coping strategies, relaxation, or cognitive-behavioural techniques such as thought-stopping.
ReplyDeleteI have also had clients go out and do mini-experiments to encourage them to challenge irrational beliefs on their own (one example is described in my post, "You Can't Always Make it Better") and prove to themselves that they have the ability to overcome anxiety if they are only willing to step out of their comfort zone. I will only do this if I feel confident that my client has adequate coping skills, and often a precursor to any kind of experimental exercise is to think about and practice "what to do if I start to feel anxious or scared".