Life is a therapist...

There's some things that I regret Some words I wish had gone unsaid Some starts That had some bitter endings Been some bad times I've been through Damage I could not undo Some things I wish I could do all all over again But it don't really matter When life gets that much harder It makes you that much stronger Some pages turned Some bridges burned But there were lessons learned Every tear that had to fall from my eyes Everyday I wondered how I'd get through the night Every change life has thrown me I'm thankful for every break in my heart I'm grateful for every scar Some pages turned Some bridges burned But there were lessons learned There's mistakes that I have made Some chances I just threw away Some roads I never should've taken Been some signs I didn't see Hearts that I hurt needlessly Some wounds That I wish I could have one more chance to mend But it don't make no difference The past can't be rewritten You get the life you're g

My parents have been married for nearly 30 years. The only real piece of relationship advice they've ever imparted on me is this: "Respect each other."  So often, we lash out in anger or frustration, only to feel regretful once we've calmed down and regained perspective. How many times have you heard, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that" after an especially hurtful exchange, with the expectation that all would somehow magically be forgotten? When we're angry, our defenses go up. Our adrenalin pumps. We're flooded with emotion. We want the [perceived] source(s) of our anger to be perfectly aware of what they've done to create this feeling for us. And thus, we become more uninhibited and apt to express ourselves in ways that perhaps we ordinarily would not. Suddenly, "I feel hurt that you forgot our anniversary" becomes, "You're a selfish, inconsiderate jerk who never thinks about my feelings and I hate you!" I w

In  this post , I contemplated the influence that a psychologist's personal life could have on his or her professional life. But what about the reverse? How does my profession influence the way I interact with others in my personal life, or in the ways they interact with me? When I was still an undergrad doing my bachelor's degree in Psychology, I was worried that a new, but close, friend of mine might be suicidal. When I started to ask her more questions to figure out whether she was in danger of hurting herself, she told me to stop, that I wasn't her "psychology guinea pig". It turned out that she was, in fact, suicidal, and a couple of years later she wound up apologizing for hurtful comments she made and reassured me that they were more about her than they ever were about me. But it got me thinking. Months ago, a close friend disclosed that she had been sexually assaulted when she was younger. I was apparently the first person she had opened up to in years